spring is here

she sucked long and hard on the menthol cigarette between her first two fingers. there was nothing better, she imagined, than sitting on her stoop on a warm spring evening, smoking menthols and reading. currently she was working on a silly romance novel that she picked up at a garage sale earlier that week. she usually steered clear of these types of books, but the main character oddly reminded her of herself or someone she used to know or maybe someone she had seen on tv that she liked. maybe the main character reminded her of what she always wished she could be like. having never have strayed too far from her small town in small town, USA, she liked to imagine that she would some day travel around the country and become cultured and mature and simply divine. she puffed away and feverishly read how the main character, probably a playboy pinup looking type of girl she imagined, fucked her boss in his office with the shades closed and the lights off. for some reason, she always read through the sex scenes really fast in case someone came up behind her and looked over her shoulder. she could just hear it now, "Oh my word! What in heavens are you reading?"
Dusk was setting in and sadness fell over her suddenly. She didn't like when it was dark out. Everything changed when it got dark outside. Suddenly people didn't smile at you warmly anymore. In the evenings people fought, cried, disappeared... In the daytime people smiled and hugged and played. Yes, everything definitely changed when the sun took its place on the other side of the world and the moon came back. As she placed another cigarette between her lips she closed her novel and watched the sun go down. She'd rather not have to go inside and hear the fighting, crying and screaming. She wished for once she could just disappear.. not forever just for a little while. Wishful thinking it was, she knew that. She figured out that you can never just disappear about 10 years ago.. but she still wished every night for the past 10 years that she could.


haha that sucks im just bored bored bored.